Sénégalaise, violée et tabassée : ma souffrance d’hier à aujourd’hui (Témoignage)

Sénégalaise, violée et tabassée : ma souffrance d’hier à aujourd’hui (Témoignage)

Témoignage.
Je m’appelle ewi.
Je viens d’avoir le bac.
J’ai déposé un peu partout pour avoir un emploi.
Mais aucune porte ne s’est ouverte à moi.
À la maison, on m’appelle ewi toubab.
Je suis très propre. Je ne supporte pas voir de la saleté autour de moi.
Je prends soin de mon corps, de mes cheveux, de mes habits. Etc.
On me dit même maniaque de la propreté.
Je passe ma vie à la maison a balayer, nettoyer, astiquer, ranger.
Mes habits sont toujours pliés d’une manière spéciale.
Mes chaussures toujours bien cirées et arrangées.
Je disais donc que j’ai postulé un peu partout sans succès.
J’ai la peau très claire, je suis mignone.
C’est certainement pourquoi je reçois toujours des propositions indécentes quand je dépose mes cv ou que je répond à des entretiens d’embauche.
Mais je les rejette toujours.
Parfois même de manière assez rudes.😅
Je pense que c’est la raison pour laquelle on ne me rappelle jamais d’ailleurs😢.
Pour moi, le Bac était un diplôme super valorisant quoi.
Dans ma famille ma maman me disait tous les jours dans ses prières, yalneu ngueu am seu Bac beu am ligguey.
Et moi, la consécration viendrait après le bac.
Je serai la première fille dans la famille à l’avoir haut la main, me disais-je.
J’ai respecté ma promesse.
Après le bac, la deception totale😢
Il fallait plus que cea pour mériter ma place dans la vie active.
N’ayant pas les moyens de suivre une formatiin supérieure, après avoir couru dans tous les sens, j’acceptais enfin le poste de « commerciale » que me proposait un jeune qui avait reçu un financement pour lancer son entreprise.
Il avait de grands projets avec sa boutique de lait caillé.
Il faisait partie des premiers à conditionner le lait caillé dans des seaux en plastique.
Il y’avait le nom de son entreprise dessus et il avait une binne comptabilité.
Je me sentais importante du coup, car, il me confiait de plus en plus de responsabilité.
Et moi, dans ma peau de cadre manager, sou meuy liggéyi, je me faisait toute belle nakk. L’apparence est importante dans un business.
Surtout quand on est commercial.
À y réfléchir, par moments, je culpabilise. Aujourd’hui, avec ce qui s’est passé, je me dis que peut être que j’aurai mieux fait de m’y rendre tous les jours en burqa😖.
Un jours, mon patron a commencé à devenir veaiment veaucoup plus gentil que d’habitude.
Il me regardait comme s’il était mon frère me disait-il.
Ensuite il a commencé à m’offrir des seaux de lait à apporter à ma mère.
Puis, il m’a déclaré sa flamme.
Tout de suite, je l’ai remis à sa place.
Puis j’ai eu peur de perdre mon emploi. Car ma langue bien pendue a sortie des énormités ce jour là.
Mais il n’a rien dit du tout. Il m’a compris et est devenu beaucoup plus protecteur qu’avant, à la manière d’un oncle.
Puis un jour, après la pause, il m’a demandé de nous faire du ndiarou sow comme boisson après le repas.
Je l’ai préparé, on a mangé et je me suis assoupie.
Plus tard, je me suis reveillée en pleine brousse, les pieds et les mains attachés à un pillier se trouvant sous une hutte fabriquée de manière artisanale.
Non mais je rêvait ou quoi?
Tout d’abord de manière frénétique j’ai essayée de me départir de mes liens.
En même temps, je criais au secours. Je n’entendais que l’écho de ma voix en retours.
Aucune réponse.
Je ne coordonnais plus mes mouvements. Entre mes gencives et mes ongles et ma robe en sang, je ne ressemblait plus à la Ewi immaculée.
J’étais à même le sol, sale, poussièreuse.
Je me posais beaucoup de questions.
Qui m’a mis ici?
Que voulaient -ils?
Me tuer?
Me sacrifier?
En tout cas , j’avais déjà la réponse à une de mes nombreuses questions, car j’avais mal aux parties intimes et ma robe était entachée de sang.
Dans mon sommeil, il a dû se passer des choses horribles.
Je voulais vomir.
J’avais le tourni.
Je me suis rendue compte du danger dans lequel je me retrouvais et j’ai cessée de crier. S’ils m’entendent, il vont revenir!
Je tramblait comme une feuille.
Je suis restée là à gigoter comme une folle jusqu’à la tombée de la nuit.
Dans la pénombre, j’ai entendu un bruit.
Des pas.
Une lumière dansante.
Une forme.
Une voix douce et familière.
Ewi, dalaal akk diamm.
Samba! C’est toi?
Wouy sama ndèye gaawal!
Vient me détacher. Aide-moi!
C’est après que j’ai réalisé qu’il venait de me souhaiter la bienvenue.
Sous la lumière de la lampe tempête, je pouvais apperçevoir son visage, il souriait, béa.
Calme toi, calme toi, je suis là. Elle il voulais me serrer dans ses bras.
Je l’ai repoussé de mes bras ankylosés, je me suis mise à crier. Comme une folle. Je l’ai insulté de tous les noms. C’est lui qui m’avait drogué et kidnappé.
Je suis restée ainsi son objet pendant un an et demi, dans cette hutte.
Au début, j’avais les liens.
Si je voulais faire mes besoins, il m’accompagnait un peu plus loin dans la brousse.
Il avait toujours une arme blanche avec lui.
Il avait prévu un matériel vétuste pour que je cuisine. Apparement, il avait tout préparé. Un petit champs de mil, de riz, du maraichage. Il partait à la chasse et amenait du gibier. Et moi, la petite citadine chokhobité que j’étais, cuisinait comme au village.
Sokheu dogoup( pillait le mil)
Araw par force.
Thiéré par force.
Avec un couple de chèvres qui a formé plus tard un troupeau, je me retrouvais être forcée à exploiter une petite ferme.
C’était incroyable.
Petit à petit, il a libéré mes liens.
Je le haissait, mais je n’ai jamais pensé à partir.
Je dormais énormément en son absence.
Il m’écoeurait. Mais je suis restée ainsi pendant de longs mois.
Je suis tombée enceinte de lui.
Et puis un jour, comme si quelqu’un m’avait giflé pour me reveiller, je me suis enfuie en son absence. J’ai couru presque une journée et une nuit entières avant de trouver une route bitumée.
En haillons, le ventre bedonnant, affamée, j’étais entrain de faire des grands signes de la main aux routiers pour qu’ils me portent secours.
Finalement, un camionneur s’est arrêté et m’a pris à bord.
Je lui ai raconté mon histoire et il m’a amené vers le poste de gendarmerie le plus proche.
J’ai été acheminé chez moi et quelques jours plus tard, j’ai accouché de la fille du monstre.
Je ne l’ai jamais allaité.
Je ne voulais pas qu’elle vive.
Sans l’aide psychologique de ma mère, j’aurai certainement commis l’irréparable.
Aujourd’hui, elle est adolescente, elle prépare le bac.
Je n’ai plus jamais eu affaire à un homme.
Plus personne n’a plus jamais entendu parler de Samba.
Et je ne pourrai jamais vous dire où j’ai passé 18 mois de ma vie emprisonnée dans une hutte.

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