Au Sénégal, la polygamie ne rebute plus les femmes instruites

Au Sénégal, la polygamie ne rebute plus les femmes instruites

La pratique, combattue autrefois par les féministes, attire une nouvelle génération de femmes. Par choix, mais aussi du fait de la pression sociale.

Tous les matins depuis trois mois, c’est le même rituel. Mor* prépare un petit sac avec quelques vêtements de rechange. Ce soir, il dormira ailleurs. Ce journaliste sénégalais, correspondant d’une grande agence de presse internationale, partage sa vie entre deux foyers, deux femmes. La première, Djeneba*, 40 ans, est diplômée en gestion du tourisme. Epousée il y a douze ans, elle est la mère de ses trois enfants. Et puis, il y a Anta*, pimpante journaliste de 27 ans, fille d’un médecin et d’une enseignante. Elle a 19 ans de moins que lui.

Devenir la niarel (seconde épouse, en wolof), Anta en rêve, dit-elle « depuis [qu’elle est] gamine ». Elle revendique une certaine indépendance. « J’ai toujours voulu être dans un ménage polygame. C’est une forme de liberté, car j’ai du temps pour moi quand mon mari est chez la première épouse. Je ne me vois pas m’occuper seule de lui », explique-t-elle avec décontraction.

35,2 % des ménages sénégalais polygames

Son assurance tranche avec la colère rentrée de Djeneba. La quadragénaire au visage émacié est sonnée depuis ce jour où son amour de jeunesse lui a annoncé son second mariage. Abasourdie, elle a perdu du poids ainsi que sa confiance en elle et en son mari.

La noce a été scellée en catimini, après quarante-cinq jours de relation cachée. « Je n’ai jamais pensé devenir polygame », jure Mor. « Ça m’est tombé dessus », poursuit-il pendant que Djeneba sert le déjeuner. La tension est palpable dans ce coquet appartement d’un quartier résidentiel de Dakar.

A l’image de ce trio, 35,2 % des ménages sénégalais se déclaraient polygames en 2013, d’après l’Agence nationale de la statistique et de la démographie, contre 38,1 % en 2002. La pratique recule globalement, mais se répand dans les milieux intellectuels. Ainsi, près d’un quart des femmes ayant un diplôme universitaire acceptent de devenir deuxième, troisième ou quatrième épouse, d’après le dernier recensement démographique paru en 2013. Une tendance qui va à rebours d’une idée reçue : la polygamie n’est plus réservée aux milieux populaires et ruraux.

« On est passé d’une génération de femmes instruites dans les années 1960-1970 farouchement opposée à la polygamie à une génération qui l’assume, voire la revendique », explique Fatou Sow Sarr, maître de conférences à l’université Cheikh-Anta-Diop, à Dakar, et fondatrice du laboratoire Genre et recherche scientifique de l’Institut fondamental d’Afrique noire (IFAN).

« A l’indépendance, les premières femmes diplômées la combattaient. Pour elles, c’était une violence faite aux femmes et il fallait l’éradiquer. » Ces cadres de la première génération post-indépendance, enseignantes, fonctionnaires ou infirmières, ont reçu le soutien du président sénégalais, Léopold Sédar Senghor. Marié à une Française et très imprégné de culture européenne, il fera inscrire la monogamie comme une option dans le Code de la famille de 1972.

Ce code est toujours en vigueur quarante-six ans plus tard. Au moment de se marier pour la première fois, l’homme – en « concertation » avec sa promise – choisit devant le maire si son futur ménage restera un duo ou s’il pourra accueillir une, deux ou trois épouses supplémentaires.

Des hommes beaucoup plus âgés

Comment la polygamie, perçue comme rétrograde par ces premières élites d’après l’indépendance, est-elle devenue acceptable pour nombre de femmes issues des milieux bourgeois et intellectuels ?

« Faute de travail, les jeunes hommes instruits n’ont plus les moyens de fonder une famille. Les femmes de leur classe d’âge ayant fait de longues études épousent donc des hommes beaucoup plus âgés mais avec une bonne situation matérielle et, très souvent, mariés. La pression sociale autour du mariage contraint les femmes à choisir la polygamie par dépit très souvent », explique Fatou Sow Sarr, qui observe cette tendance parmi ses étudiantes en thèse.

Mais la chercheuse constate un autre bouleversement dans les rapports conjugaux. Apparue au Sénégal avant l’arrivée de l’islam, mais codifiée par la religion, la polygamie était inscrite dans une organisation sociale.

« Il fallait des bras pour cultiver la terre et remplir son grenier. L’homme se devait d’être équitable et respectueux envers ses épouses. Chacune avait un statut spécial. Ce qui a changé, c’est qu’aujourd’hui, en milieu urbain, on assiste à une forme d’exploitation des femmes. Pour rester mariées, certaines sont prêtes à tout, quitte à inverser les rôles en étant celles qui entretiennent leur mari. Ce dernier joue sur les rivalités entre les coépouses. Ces rivalités épuisent les femmes, détournent leur énergie et les empêchent de prendre leur place dans la société », regrette Fatou Sow Sarr.

Qu’en est-il des hommes ? Selon l’Agence nationale de la statistique et de la démographie, ils sont 14 % issus de milieux intellectuels à se déclarer polygames. Birame*, 45 ans, élégant professeur de lettres à l’université Gaston-Berger de Saint-Louis, a opté pour la polygamie lors de son mariage, mais n’envisage pas de franchir le pas. « Je n’ai pas les moyens d’entretenir deux femmes. Mais j’ai un filet de sécurité, un pouvoir face à mon épouse. C’est comme une arme de dissuasion pour qu’elle ne me fasse pas la guerre », ironise-t-il.

« Situation ubuesque »

Source de souffrance pour beaucoup de femmes et leurs enfants, la polygamie peut aussi être vécue comme une contrainte par certains hommes. « Je vis une situation ubuesque », lâche Abdou*, 62 ans, éminent universitaire et acteur de la vie intellectuelle sénégalaise. Après trente-six ans de mariage et trois enfants, il a épousé en secondes noces, sans tambour ni trompette, une consœur divorcée d’un premier mariage. « Ma première femme n’a pas voulu qu’on se sépare, car le divorce au Sénégal est une catastrophe sociale, surtout pour la femme. La polygamie est dans mon cas un divorce qui ne dit pas son nom », confie-t-il.

Bataille perdue des féministes sénégalaises, la polygamie a même résisté à l’arrivée massive des femmes en politique. Depuis la loi sur la parité votée en 2010, celles-ci sont aussi nombreuses que les hommes sur les bancs de l’Assemblée. Sans effet sur l’ouverture d’un débat, comme dans d’autres pays musulmans.

Une enquête du journal Le Monde

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